Windy weather, Random thoughts and chocolate drops.....

I am rellishing the grey wet windy weather, throwing its weight around in the huge Jacaranda tree I can see from our back sunroom, where I sit now and type.  The horizon is just beautiful (memo to self post pics~!) a kaleidoscope of green hugging the river which snakes through the town....only the distant rumble of trucks reminds me I am not from a scene in Tess of the D'urbevilles......  

I am feeling so helpless in so many ways but have surrended myself to the will of the universe, or as I like to think of her 'Mother Nature'.....and have to have faith that She has good things in store for us here.  We fell to this place randomly like an autumn leaf being blown and tumbled through the air on a gust of wind.  Every time I think things are settling it whooshes me up again and, though I will say not for the worse at all, things change a little before they settle again. 

The squids are settling very nicely and making a lot of new friends, and infact are at a friend's place for a play right now, brave Mum......4 rowdy kids and wet weather makes for a tough playdate ;)

As much as I try to remember that we were coming to this region for the coast and the work there, I can feel myself being drawn into the life here, not unpleasantly, just surprisingly.....I have found a beautiful little acreage, which is wooded and slopes down to its very own lilly and duckfilled pond, am dreaming of the neighbouring kangaroos and kookaburra's which come to say hi everytime I venture down for ANOTHER look just to be .....sure, I guess that this IS what I want.........but when I turn the sweeping corner to the place tugging at my heart, I feel like I am at home already.  Fingers crossed they dont sell it before we sell our house ;)

I was driving home from work today, I am working as a Physio Aide at the new Nursing Home, and am loving it, am also playing Robinson Crusoe (Girl Friday) with the office and feel, as corny as it sounds, ALIVE.  I dont feel used and overworked as I have let myself be in the past.  I now recognise that I let that happen, it wasn't about external forces at all.

I feel humbled by the universe for trusting me to look after these people.  ......This is my new mantra, and I need to remind myself how lucky I am to have fallen on my feet and to be doing a job I love which hopefully makes a difference to the lives of others, albeit in a small way.

The King has had his plans to leave the old life behind thwarted by bad luck with old cars, however, again I am going to trust the universe that she had her reasons.......and this way I dont have to worry incessantly that they are stuck in the flood waters of SE QLD on their way through to us.

I am living every day, or rather TRYING to live every day as I mean to go on.  I am, I guess finally working on just BEING ME, learning to FORGIVE me, and being KIND to me.  I think I LIKE the new non judgemental, self criticising ME, and I want to keep her.   I think she DESERVES to savour a quiet moment with an old love, dark chocolate drops, and not feel guilty either.....

I choose to smile infectiously, its free, please take one.



xxx