Sarchasm :' The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. '

.....love it!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Beauty Myth

 or to Grey or not to Grey?  I have come to the conclusion that it is much easier to be blase about beauty issues when you are not actually experiencing them. Ever heard yourself say to a teen or a 'tween' 'dont worry about that zit, it will go away if you leave it alone', meanwhile forgetting that their whole world feels as if it will spin off its axle if it does not shrivel up and die NOW................

Well I want to know where the hell is the Justice in this world????
Last night as I was (for the squeamish get out NOW) squeezing a PMT zit & pondering the cruelty of hormones, being currently blessed with both wrinkles AND pimples.... I spotted my first GREY hair......in the words of a dear slightly deranged (in a lovely way) friend, "what the F is that all about???".

....actually being much cooler than I and not caring what people think she would have said Fcuk.

And spelt it properly too.

And its not JUST grey, its about an inch long and pure white, just on my cowlick. Great.  I WAS just thinking about how I should be at one with the universe and love myself for who I am, embracing my inner hippy and matching my hairstyle to my legs......leaving them alone for the greatest part ( sorry TMI) but that was when I wasn't a 36ish year old with a grey hair. 

I am now, as insistently as I try to avoid the topic with myself, becoming introspective about the whole thing, wondering if the window to my youth is slowly closing, good god WILL I EVER LEARN TO SURF???

My mini meltdown occured at about 10pm last night after my nightly bathroom rituals (hardcore here, sorbolene and water lol) and I was SHOCKED yes dear reader(anyone there?), SHOCKED that my husband didn't even rate my ranting with a put down of his book and rollover to check it out.  He could have LIED and told me it was just a blonde hair (which I know would look rather silly on dark brown hair but would sound more soothing).  AND the mere fact he had had a tooth pulled yesterday and was in a 'mood' is no excuse. 

In a moment of insanity I even wondered aloud if it made me look more, as my daughter puts it 'extinguished'.  YIKES.  It opens all kinds of questions....like, if i decide to go natural, does that mean that any stray nipple hairs get to stay aswell? 

I suddenly understand the obsession with youth elixirs.....but I am too lazy to bother myself, that and my belief that the money spent on one small starlets looks could support a small country.

As  I was just starting to really sulk and wonder if I had left my youthful days behind...... and how many had I wasted by being modest, I hopped into bed, sober, with a hot wheat bag for my achey back and cradling my cup of 'lady grey' tea, deliciously tucked into my current book, 'Diary of a Frech Herb Garden'.

Sigh, guess I answered my own question.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Monster House....

I think we have bought a house......???????? stay tuned, havent sold ours yet tho, so will be VERY much in debt ;(... its a bit of a monstrosity, but it is big and very cheap and we did want a doerupper...... kids love it, it has a lot of nooks and crannies (and retro lino lol) and is close to everything. No room for a blackfaced sheep here tho ;(

...........................so dear readers no elranchoryan, more like un petite du ranchoryan (sp?! sorry lol)

....but it is warm and has a lot of character inside...and I CAN have chooks and grow veges and live 15 nmins away from some of the best beaches in the world......happy dance.

Did I mention cheap??????????????????????????????