What to do .....what to do......what to do.....

...what to do.  That is the question.  Less than a month before DH is to drive out and we haven't decided whether to sell up or rent out our first house.  I have lists of 'pro's and con's' strewn around the house.  One minute I want to sell, then the next I want to hold onto this place.  But not for the reasons everybody is 'advising'....I KNOW financially it is a good long term investment....I KNOW it will continue to increase in value.  I KNOW the King and I could keep this as our retirement nest egg.....bla bla bla.  BUT  the reasons I am considering it are more for sentimental reasons.  This has been our family 'nest' for nigh on 5 years.  Our refuge, the place where we grew together.  The place of many milestones.  It is the place where my monkey learned to ride a bike.  It is the place where my daughter looked at me with 'melt your heart love' when she got her pet kitten.  It is the first step in our journey of home ownership of security for the King and I that we were so desperately craving.  It has many late night scribbles of plans and dreams etched into my memory.  It is the place of many family gatherings, of laughter and love.


It is also a place of stark reminders of a not so happy past.  Of a daughter so crushed it crushed the wind out of me to look at her.  Of having to work ourselves to the bone to try and meet the rising cost of living up here, of loneliness due to perhaps too high expectations of support from the friends we came here to be with. .....and on reflection  many couldn't handle what we needed of them, sad but understandable.  Of tension between the King and I while we worked through our own private hell with our little Missy.   Of many tears and struggles just to keep our heads above water.  Of many many nights thinking DS5 would be drawing his last breath as his asthma flared up and and threatened to peel him from his mothers' arms.

But we are stronger now, all of us, and this nest has ingrained itself into our lives with its unwavering offering of a place to hide, a shelter from the world when we needed it.  But we are ready to shake off these bad memories and start a new chapter in our lives.  AND shape it to suit us.  To find the perfect spot for "El Rancho Ryan" the place of our dreams, and fill it with vivid techicolour memories of family, love and strength, the best of us.   A casa of hope, of simple living and laughter. 

I guess I just answered my question......I realise now it's time to let go, and move with the current.  For us, it was never a question about money. 

Thanks for listening

xx