ANZAC BISCUIT CRAVINGS...also known as the story of how NOT to cook them.......

ANZAC BISCUIT CRAVING...also known as 'the story of how NOT to make them...'

I should start by telling you frankly, and somewhat ashamedly...I am NOT a natural cook.....infact I buy vintage wooden spoons and aprons HOPING there is still some essence of the cook who bore them...and that it will somehow infuse into me.....

However there are some recipe's I am great at, just so happens that they are all family recipes and as such i have been absorbing their influence since day dot.

I have a hankering for my Grandma's beautiful Anzac Biscuits with a cup of piping hot black tea...just what the doctor ordered as I have not been well.


However, probably due to the influence of medicine, I am unable to recall by heart my Grandma's recipe for love nor money, and turn to the net in search of a suitable replacement recipe.

I find just what I am after, a recipe similar and simple ....or so I thought.

Firstly, DANG...WT?? No plain flour..how the heck did that happen (as I guiltily recall recent memories of scoffing scones and lemon butter with my Dad recently...)...so I pull myself together to LEAVE.THE.HOUSE...sounds so trivial doesnt it, well I have made it a point in the last week to stay at home for fear of pulic humiliation.....

Ingredients finally at the ready, I don my newest vintage Apron which I will NOT be posting as I am loathe to admit is a mite small, however it still TIES at the back so snicker not!

I mix and make the cool science experiment that is golden syrup, butter and bicarb soda....

but OMG!! how did that happen?! I used a small saucepan as usual...and it bubbles over like Krakatoa....., still none the wiser, and not deterred at this point, I steele myself and carry on.....but while mixing, I notice there seems to be a whole lot more dry than wet ingredients, infact the volcano mix is only able to make about 1/2 the quantity of viable biscuit mix......

Determined to have a batch or 3 ready for the vultures when they arrive home, I set about to make the first couple of trays.....oven is on....

.....Huh??? Omg, instead of dropping 'teaspoons' onto the tray like my Grandma's recipe, this one calls for us to roll balls into walnut size. My mixture is a bit dry so I add a sprinkle of water, & proceed. Sheesh! My uncooked Anzacs at this point look like Hamburger patties, I am not holding out a lot of hope for this lot, will attempt again later....but smugly pop into preheated oven knowing that my homebaked starved children and Husband will eat anything short of charcoal.....

As fore planned, party arrives home just intime for me to pull out...umm, what the King rudely referred to as Anzac Rock Cakes......the kids nibble one and well. Hmmmm. Something.Not.Quite.Right.

LIGHT BULB moment here! I look back at recipe, and actually put my glasses on to read the recipe thru, not just assume what it says (yep, patience of a pirahna waiting for his meal to cook here, working in it I swear!)

.....and yes, it turns out to be a BULK recipe.....YIKES.


Instead of turfing out leftover ingredients, I am determined to see my craving satisfied. I redo the science experiment and mix the next batch.....*success*, and just to make sure, I have the kids poke several choc drops into each one...as there is NOTHING in this household which will survive if it involves chocolate!

sniff sniff...yep they're ready ;)



DISCLAIMER:

#1. Dont attempt to cook if you are under the 'influence' and always read the recipe.



Second batch turned out lovely and only crumbs left on plate....recipe from Sherrie at Simple Living.

http://simpleliving-sherrie.blogspot.com/2010/07/anzac-biscuit-recipe.html#comment-form

Chillin' on a Sunday Afternoon....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KefLz4DDrjo

Enjoy with a cold one!

Spring Sunday

Morning...errr.afternoon all......had a panic and broke into a sweat as the kids had been playing on the pooter and the keyboard wasnt working.......aarrhhhgggg




BUT..shh? do you hear that? ( shaddup puppy next door you're ruining my story!) no? well...thats because they've all gone to the BEACH with Grandma and Grandpa on the way to look at a sharesy's tinny boat........*contented sigh*

...playing Jack Johnson CD I got for my birthday, pottering around tweaking my reading corner....reading inspiring 'greenliving' books in my reading corner.....did 20mins of housework, well..it IS Sunday, and have sprinkled lavendar oil everywhere in the vague hope that it will bring peace and harmony to mankind or childkind on their return.....




ooh, and I ate chocky for breakfast with my 'cafe au lait'.... mmmmmm



Hope you are all able to have some chill out time today, all work and no play is no fun ;)



...off to make some Anzacs.......and MIGHT leave some for the 'others'!
 
 
PS. Kids want a pool.(raucous laughter on the inside from me......because it would be insensitive of me to laugh in their cute little faces...but a POOL? waaaay out of my budget or lifestyle list...and we have have some georgeous beaches in our neck of the woods...) so I think I have a solution, I am going to hunt for a vintage bath and make an 'outdoor bathroom' of sorts, so they can splash and play, and then they can water my banana's and heliconia patch......
 

......and on balmy summer eve's I can languish in my bathers with a glass of bubbly...........and pretend to be somewhere I'm not ;)

Fave vintage finds.....

Dont laugh!  I love this Cocky ol' Rooster, oil painted by someone who put a lot of effort in and I just couldn't see it gather dust in an op shop longer than it had to.  I think he will have pride of place in my kitchen!  The King is not so sure....he'll warm to it ;)

'Be the Change you want to see in the world'........... Mahatma Gandhi

I am firstly going to tell you that I yielded, and *gulp* got up early this morning, and after a lovely snuggle with the King before the cat and puppy and 2 kids all jumped on us at 6(!) went and did the dishes..........and you know what it didnt hurt a bit!  LOL

I put that quote up as I have chosen it as my new mantra, because I repect the person who said it immensely, and also as it resonates with me and gives me the opportunity to take control of my own destiny instead of being pulled with the tide with no rhyme or reason.  As I have expressed in previous posts I have felt like it was slowly dragging me under over the last few years after our family suffered a trauma that was so (and I realise this is not the most eloquent turn of phrase but run with me) unexpected and shocking that it nearly tore us apart.  About the only thing I am grateful for the last 'phase' of my life is that we did not allow the cracks in the floor to widen enough to let us fall in, and took turns in pulling each other out of the chasm........as a result we know we can get through anything as a family and we have grown stronger as a result.  Dont get me wrong, we still have our issues....but we KNOW in our hearts that they are trivial so we move on from them quicker these days.....

'Be the change you want to see' in YOURSELF, is my way of interpreting Gandhi's quote, as if I can be proud of the person I am, and be strong for my family, I believe I have set the foundation for my children.......and that is my world ;)

So, after our early start, I went for a lovely walk with the poochies, listened to the birds sing and watched the sunrise and bathe the beautiful old houses and their 100 year old trees with a sepia glow that was just magical.   I came home and decided to be the one to break the cycle the King and I have been locked in for a few weeks, and that too was a magical moment.......the kids had a 30 minute challenge set to 'win' and we have so far not had a single roar from this old lioness.........breakfast in my patio to enjoy the morning some more before a warm shower and I can actually say that today is going to be a GOOD day, and I can allow my self time to close my eyes and  just BREATHE.

Hope your day is fantastic too, take time out for you!

Sunshine on a rainy day....

Have a fantastic day, and take time out for you xx

Its happened.....*jaws music* I've become a NAG!!

It seems the laid back woman of my youth, who I was happy just 'being', has been replaced with a narky, order barking, blood pressurised volcanohead of a woman obsessed with 'getting there on time'......nothing it seems is good enough (words courtesy of KK himself) and when I first heard the whining about how I am behaving I poo poohed it, and thought to myself "BAH, toughen up and just DO the bloody *insert here whatever had been sensibly delegated* and I wont have to"....

but it just dawned on me that I DONT have to, do I? 

After all, the house wont fall apart REALLY will it?

and another thing...I notice the more I rant and rave the less the kids listen to me and the more my head feels like its going to pop....

so....this afternoon when the cheeky monkey decided to throw a king size tanty in Big W because I wouldnt buy him $100 man size 'Steve Irwin' boots for his character costume this Friday.......I decided to let him carry on, and the 'other' eyes were on HIM not ME....I kept cool and he cooled down a lot quicker than usual.....and he EVENTUALLY did go and fix up the water bottle fridge which was a casualty of his thrashing arms.........

so.......cool and calm, thinking *calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean*  and I am NOT going to NAG about the dishes ......but I'm not going to DO them either. 

Wish me luck

x

Just because....hope it makes you smile as it does me ;)

rubber duckie

Rainy Day...perfect for vintage shopping....my fave find today:

Lots of retro tupperware bits and bobs and some dear little glass plates for serving homemade treats on....but my fave find today is this georgeous tray, not sure what to even do with it yet but......I just LOVE it.  You can see behind here in this pic the vintage fruit bowl I fell in love with on a previous tryst tee hee, please ignore the 'Ben 10 ' disc at the bottom I did not see until now, oh and any dust ;)

Isn't is funny how some things suddenly shimmy their way into your life and make your heart sing?

My 'reading' corner.

In a house full of need to do's, I felt the need to have a little  SPACE of my own, where I could catch the warm afternoon sun, enjoy a cup of tea and 'read'....or as is known to many...daydream.  This, like the rest of the old house is a work in progress and has been made up of mostly thrift shop finds, yesterday's wrought iron magazine rack still has the price tag on....thinking about painting that one white and see that lovely meat safe?  My Dad made that for me, how spoilt am I?  I am misusing it as a book shelf/gmaes cupboard atm, until I have enough space in the kitchen for it......note the ripped lino where Rosie Posy must have read my mind and thought she would HELP rip up the flooring to expose the old hardwood boards.......

I hope you have a place to escape, if only for a moment. x

Disclaimer: 1 x 5 y'olds grubby sock...I can't be everywhere now can I? 

Flowers shining through the rain.......

<>

See, she's not ALL bad, some lovely detail and great light, just a lot of 70's cover ups to get thru........

Gees, what can I say? Best left unsaid ;)

Our front to back yard, just screaming out for some retro pink flamingos......now fenced and with fruit trees, avocado, mango and lime (all makings for a yummy margarita!) a peach and white mulberry tree.

C'est monstrosity no?

For your amusement, our Monstrosity.......in all her naked glory!

Our back to front yard, back 'patio' area......

Madness at Monstrosity!

So, it has been a while since I last posted about...err....anything! 
Ummmm .....Sorry about that, I have been, erm, very busy and paired with poor internet connection it just got too hard.  You see I had taken over the role of 'breadwinner' since the King had temporarily fallen off his perch and had not found work since moving to our country town.....not the start we had hoped for.

I had never seen him so down.....didnt quite know what to do and had just resigned myself to needing to work about 1000 hours a week (nurses get such pooky wages!) and while driving the 25 mins to work along a beautiful river road in the early hours of the morning, the sight took my breath away, again.  This place never ceases to amaze me with its beauty...I asked Mother Universe if SHE could please make all this perfect and let the Kings job fall into place as we had dreamed.  That afternoon while suffering from a severe case of ManFlu and lying down in the bedroom, he got a phone call..... so a huge THANKYOU Mother Universe and we can now breathe a sigh of relief!

The house we sold in emotional circumstances has not really paid off.....however we have taken a deep breath and tried to remember exactly WHY we moved.  While we havent exactly profited and found we made crappy (albeit temporary) property moguls, we just realised that we have shed $300k of debt *HAPPY DANCE* and in the meantime picked up our new project...aka MONSTROSITY, said with love and affection for this silly old rambling house.

 I finally have some pics for you to peruse and perhaps guffaw at...but we loved the light and space in this house and *plan* (to plan lol) to strip her back to her mid century glory days inside....not sure exactly what those are just yet, thinking late 40's as she was built in 1939 according to her deeds, but has had a few add ons and all verandahs enclosed to make extra rooms and has windows all around.  This looks ok and has plenty of renovating potential from the INSIDE however from the outside she remains a big white monstrosity on a busy country corner.....so we are in the middle of negotiations (read arguments) about whether to add a deck/carport to give her some proportion and some much needed off street parking (especially since some A- grade poop head decided to walk over the bonnet on friday night when I left our car out).  

Starting first from the outside in, we have tidied up the patio out the back, removed the redback laced, lead painted picnic table, added a few chairs and an umbrella for Sunday morning brunch space, planted a lemon tree, kitchen herbs, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, violets & marigolds.  We have also planted fruit trees in the back to front yard (our front yard is our back yard...), had a fence built for privacy and a space for the kids & puppy to play.  Oh yes, did I mention the puppy?  She deserves a post all to herself, but thats another day ;)

Since moving here I have, pardon the pun, dusted off a lifelong passion for vintage homjewares and thrift stores and have had several impressive finds, including a wonderful red crackle 50's kitchen table, 2 x cedar wardrobes and a lovely 60's dresser for my daughters room.  We also bought 3 x 50's milk-bar type stalls to use in our 'bar' someday, for $2.50 each(yay!) and the cute 50's desk I am writing at as we speak was literally on the side of the road.  The cupboards were a 'love at first sight' kind of find, and I found an almost identical wardrobe in a very expensive local 'antique' store which shall remain nameless, for $980, so I feel pretty impressed with myself as we got ours for $20 at a garage sale, with no idea of their value. 
You might also like to look at the site I am LOVING right now: http://retrorenovation.com/ I particularly love their matra 'love the house you're in', it makes you look at your house with new eyes, and retro, just because, why not?  Its fun, quirky and kind to the budget and you can rest assured that your house will be no cookie cutter ;)
 

...and dont you think our front lawn is just SCREAMING out for some pink flamingo's? 

Thanks for popping by, please enjoy as we make fools of ourself during the renovation phase *grin*

Me time.................

It is such a rarity that I give myself time...for....just...whatever.  Being both a woman and a mum (brilliant deduction going on about now no doubt lol) it seems ingrained that to spend any time 'just' on 'me' is a shocking waste of my precious time and is designed to maximise one's guilt complex.  However today I find myself in such a rare position of utter nothingness that I had to force myself to use it as I wanted to.

 Over the weekend the King had to fly back to Darwin to finalise his work contract .......
*GULP, but we are NOT thinking about that today either*
........so the kids and I had a day out at the shops, just taking our time and then a delicious coffee and a play (I must admit I caved in to the McCafe which just goes to show you can have ideals and be a normal person who needs some time out too.......without feeling too much  like a big fat hypocrite......actually it helps if you park with your 'kill the clown' stickers facing away from the front door) then came home and flicked the kids around like giant dusters, opened a new box of pot pourri (at least the place SMELLS clean, so I'm halfway there) and had bedroom cleaning races...so the place is presentable, and no need for me to spend the day cleaning for once.

And so I find myself with time to do.........ANYTHING..................I......................WANT!  *dizzy grin*

So, I have banished the guilt fairy and enjoyed an awesome day off to potter around, went for a window shop, have taken the dog for a walk in lovely winter sun, planted some more herbs for our kitchen garden, tidied up (its embedded sadly), now time for a cup of tea and a bit of a daydream before my nap (night duty tonight).....ahhhhhhhhhh.

It has struck midday and funnily enough, I haven't shrivelled into a prune, or turned into a troll (well any bigger than this morning anyway), DOCS havent shown up to demand to know why there are dishes in the sink and better still we are off to Mum's for dinner tonight so no need to organise anything.

I think I am going to love Daydream Mondays from now on.

I hope you have some time out for yourself this week too.

x

Bad mummy.................to be or not to be?

Today when I got home from a morning shift, I found a gaggle of the 'kids from the block' hanging around our front porch and our apparently uber cool ever so slight hill, which presents many options for a gleefull afternoon on scateboards or scooters or just plain old goofing around.  Infact, now that I see it so well loved, I can't see how we looked past this hillock in the first place.  It made my heart sing to see my kids just being kids and playing with the neigbours and all being OUTSIDE.  BEING KIDS, OUTSIDE.....

After the obligatory snack and drink offers, the kids have all gone their separate ways after hours of playing together (or 'hanging out' as I have been instructed to say by my daughter) and one straggler encouraged our kids to go to the local soccer oval for a kick.  The problem is.....it's *slightly* out of sight.  SO, I have to trust them, or rather trust myself that I have given them the necessary life skills to be safe and look after one another. 

I have slight heart palpitations...helped somewhat by the 'medicinal' redwine the King just poured me.  He also kindly reminded me that this is why we moved...so that the kids COULD get out from behind their 6 foot chain mesh fence and learn to be kids again, in a small wholesome community.    But, it begs the question from my ever guilt ridden mind ( I REALLY should have been born Catholic, I would be great in confession)  am I a BAD MUMMY for letting them do this?

Inspired by the writing of the blogger Free Range Kid (http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/s), and my own beliefs (namely that kids need to be able to learn to be kids!) I am trying to loosen the rope a little.  What do you think?








Ok.......I'm not proud to admit it, but moments after posting this I caved in and had to go and have a peep at my babies.   Oh well, something to work on ;)

Sunshine, scooters and thistle fairies............

What a beautiful day...............after a difficult start lol.  Yesterday we woke up seemingly in the throes of hell, the squids had woken up at a hideous 5am and it was too cold and too bleeping early to get up dammit (read NOT a morning person here....and believe me I HAVE tried), but there was a war raging which would have made the neighbours cringe (they have since politely 'pretended' not to have heard them as I have sheepishly apologised) and not even the UN could draw up a treaty.   I am surprised by the utter nastiness and almost blood thristy violence that goes on at times between siblings, though I am fightened to ask my brothers for support to this statement ......just incase their memory is *ahem* somewhat different from mine.....it was a hard day from start to finish.  I then had a difficult Nightduty to contend with at the nursing home with a nurse who just between you me and the fence post is OFF THE PLANET.  I came home expecting the ghoulish screams of sibling hatred to pierce my ears as I walked through the front door, only to find them happily playing 'checks' (chequers) together....so it seems the treaty has been temporarily reached.

So...off to a better start, I fell into a deep sleep lulled by the sounds of household harmony, to wake and find it hadn't been a dream afterall...my kids were actually lovely today......

To celebrate, we all pulled on our sneakers to bask in the winter sunshine and go for a walk together...

kick kick swooosh....our kids flying past on their scooters with huge smiles on thier faces said it all, this should be done more often.  The scooters have been a great form of free entertainment for the King and I aswell, as they are so damned FUNNY when they try to do tricks and concentrate to go fast.....

and then I found a thistle fairy on the way home, stopped to pick it and make a wish....

Thanks Mother Universe ;)

Oh the Monstrosity.......

SHE'S FINALLY OURS!!!  After what felt like an eternity, we have finally settled on our house affecftionately known as 'Monstrosity', a name we called it after driving past, then as fate would have it SOMETHING about this huge monstosity of white cladding made us turn back....it was in a great location, has a large yard for the kids (and mum lol) and when we went inside the first time, it was love at first sight.   Not sure what took our breath away, actually, as it has such a hideous mish mash of styles all menacingly covering up the 1930's grace and beauty of the original house, but somewhere deep inside our hearts we could tell that under all this 1970's lino (and the 1950's lino stuck under that....) here was a place to build family's future.  And our crazy offer was accepted.....and the rest as they say, is history.

To the question frequently asked by my new workmates and neighbours as to why we moved HERE (they are incredulously unaware of the awesome proximity) we have taken to responding, 'we threw a dart at a map and here we are', but in this case the truth hasn't strayed far from the yarn.  

Now we are looking forward to doing her justice and renovating to reveal her true beauty, and filling her with vintage spoils.

Just the small issue of that OTHER house to deal with.  Humph, well the universe moves in mysterious ways. 

Here she is IF you're game ;)

http://www.kempseyrealestate.com.au/properties.php?id=3763152

Sunday sweet Sunday

Hi all, ssshhhhhhh.......*looks around* dont say anything, I was just getting stuff ready to make a lamb braise ( with mash of course) and DH took over....I picked the herbs, offered advice about how much of this and that but he has cooked dinner. Smells awesome, and I bet it tastes nicer having it made for me...mmmmmmmmmmm




but its our secret isnt it???



Hope everyone had an awesome Sunday. We had a quiet one, walked to the shops (much further than I thought....oops and quite hilly, but good for the butt...) got the paper and sat in a park enjoying the sunshine.
 
Tried to make the honeycomb as posted. But failed. As quickly as I hollered at my son to 'get that ball out of here' and then to reprimand DD9 about yelling at her brother (hmmmm yes I do see the similarity there) I caught it and it tasted bleeping AWFUL. Lucky though as today was the start of healthy lifestyle plan. Again. LOL, ohwell.

The Great Honeycomb debate.......

After a somewhat hilarious debate over the virtues of the Crunchie Bar v's the Violet Crumble......I have decided to make some honeycomb today.....using the recipe in mum's family recipe book ( I love this old recipe book, it is stained from years of sitting saucepan side in the throes of many a beloved creation)

The recipe is simple and aside from the risk of 3rd degree burns when it bubbles up with the bicarb is also fun to make.
4 tablespoons golden syrup

1 tablespoon water
1 cup white sugar
3 teaspoons bicarbonate of soda

Bring golden syrup, sugar and water to boil, should be almost at toffee stage, then take off heat, add bicarb and stir it in and watch it foam up like a volcano......I secretly love this part.....mwa ha ha ha must be the inner child in me.....
Pour it into a greased tray ( I use baking paper also) let set then break into chunks (this part is also fun lol)

Yummmmmooooo

Might keep the troops quiet for a while, here's hoping ;)

Shiny Happy People

oooh, hello everyone....very quiet in here tonight, thought I would pop in to share the events of our day.....we had such a lovely START to the day. I woke up to the kids fighting (norm..sheesh) and then through my unpeeled eyelids I realised I had glimpsed SUNLIGHT, yes you heard right...after the deluge of the last week we decided to take the kids for a walk to some local markets...not much on there, oh well off to local discount store to stock up on colouring books and the like for the next rainy day......took the kids to the Lighthouse in South West Rocks to look for whales (where we all deluded ourselves we saw 'something') and then on the drive out of the national park heard the 'flap flap flap'...no not a man eating hawk circling, but our rear tyre had blown on our near 4wd adventure.......trying to find the 'perfect' camping spot and admittedly sniggering at the collapsed soggy tents the previous nights tenants had evacuated.........so fairy's punishment I suppose that the wheelnuts would NOT budge......it took 3 men, some weird looking pipes ( not the nimbin kind) to lever and 1/2 a can of wd40.......nothing. The lovely people who had stopped us had their first kid free day in over a year, they have 5 kids....I felt so bad. Anyway they hooked us up with a friend with a tow truck to get us back to Dad's and the local mechanic around the corner. Some fussing with his you beaut tools and 1/2 an hour later, we have our tyre replaced. No-one would accept payment (except the towie of course lol, but he did it on 'mates rates') The young couple only accepted the token $20 we gave them after we insisted as they had driven back and forwards to their own house to get tools etc and they didnt have to even stop. The Mechanic.....he refused. Amazing.

So a long life reaffirming day. I love days like these when you are reminded about the kindness of people in this world.

I hope they have an awesome night ;)

....and to cap it off, a 'quickie' dinner at Mum's so no dishes...... and kids asleep, snuggled into their beds and it's only 7pm.








aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The Beauty Myth

 or to Grey or not to Grey?  I have come to the conclusion that it is much easier to be blase about beauty issues when you are not actually experiencing them. Ever heard yourself say to a teen or a 'tween' 'dont worry about that zit, it will go away if you leave it alone', meanwhile forgetting that their whole world feels as if it will spin off its axle if it does not shrivel up and die NOW................

Well I want to know where the hell is the Justice in this world????
Last night as I was (for the squeamish get out NOW) squeezing a PMT zit & pondering the cruelty of hormones, being currently blessed with both wrinkles AND pimples.... I spotted my first GREY hair......in the words of a dear slightly deranged (in a lovely way) friend, "what the F is that all about???".

....actually being much cooler than I and not caring what people think she would have said Fcuk.

And spelt it properly too.

And its not JUST grey, its about an inch long and pure white, just on my cowlick. Great.  I WAS just thinking about how I should be at one with the universe and love myself for who I am, embracing my inner hippy and matching my hairstyle to my legs......leaving them alone for the greatest part ( sorry TMI) but that was when I wasn't a 36ish year old with a grey hair. 

I am now, as insistently as I try to avoid the topic with myself, becoming introspective about the whole thing, wondering if the window to my youth is slowly closing, good god WILL I EVER LEARN TO SURF???

My mini meltdown occured at about 10pm last night after my nightly bathroom rituals (hardcore here, sorbolene and water lol) and I was SHOCKED yes dear reader(anyone there?), SHOCKED that my husband didn't even rate my ranting with a put down of his book and rollover to check it out.  He could have LIED and told me it was just a blonde hair (which I know would look rather silly on dark brown hair but would sound more soothing).  AND the mere fact he had had a tooth pulled yesterday and was in a 'mood' is no excuse. 

In a moment of insanity I even wondered aloud if it made me look more, as my daughter puts it 'extinguished'.  YIKES.  It opens all kinds of questions....like, if i decide to go natural, does that mean that any stray nipple hairs get to stay aswell? 

I suddenly understand the obsession with youth elixirs.....but I am too lazy to bother myself, that and my belief that the money spent on one small starlets looks could support a small country.

As  I was just starting to really sulk and wonder if I had left my youthful days behind...... and how many had I wasted by being modest, I hopped into bed, sober, with a hot wheat bag for my achey back and cradling my cup of 'lady grey' tea, deliciously tucked into my current book, 'Diary of a Frech Herb Garden'.

Sigh, guess I answered my own question.

The Monster House....

I think we have bought a house......???????? stay tuned, havent sold ours yet tho, so will be VERY much in debt ;(... its a bit of a monstrosity, but it is big and very cheap and we did want a doerupper...... kids love it, it has a lot of nooks and crannies (and retro lino lol) and is close to everything. No room for a blackfaced sheep here tho ;(

...........................so dear readers no elranchoryan, more like un petite du ranchoryan (sp?! sorry lol)

....but it is warm and has a lot of character inside...and I CAN have chooks and grow veges and live 15 nmins away from some of the best beaches in the world......happy dance.

Did I mention cheap??????????????????????????????

Windy weather, Random thoughts and chocolate drops.....

I am rellishing the grey wet windy weather, throwing its weight around in the huge Jacaranda tree I can see from our back sunroom, where I sit now and type.  The horizon is just beautiful (memo to self post pics~!) a kaleidoscope of green hugging the river which snakes through the town....only the distant rumble of trucks reminds me I am not from a scene in Tess of the D'urbevilles......  

I am feeling so helpless in so many ways but have surrended myself to the will of the universe, or as I like to think of her 'Mother Nature'.....and have to have faith that She has good things in store for us here.  We fell to this place randomly like an autumn leaf being blown and tumbled through the air on a gust of wind.  Every time I think things are settling it whooshes me up again and, though I will say not for the worse at all, things change a little before they settle again. 

The squids are settling very nicely and making a lot of new friends, and infact are at a friend's place for a play right now, brave Mum......4 rowdy kids and wet weather makes for a tough playdate ;)

As much as I try to remember that we were coming to this region for the coast and the work there, I can feel myself being drawn into the life here, not unpleasantly, just surprisingly.....I have found a beautiful little acreage, which is wooded and slopes down to its very own lilly and duckfilled pond, am dreaming of the neighbouring kangaroos and kookaburra's which come to say hi everytime I venture down for ANOTHER look just to be .....sure, I guess that this IS what I want.........but when I turn the sweeping corner to the place tugging at my heart, I feel like I am at home already.  Fingers crossed they dont sell it before we sell our house ;)

I was driving home from work today, I am working as a Physio Aide at the new Nursing Home, and am loving it, am also playing Robinson Crusoe (Girl Friday) with the office and feel, as corny as it sounds, ALIVE.  I dont feel used and overworked as I have let myself be in the past.  I now recognise that I let that happen, it wasn't about external forces at all.

I feel humbled by the universe for trusting me to look after these people.  ......This is my new mantra, and I need to remind myself how lucky I am to have fallen on my feet and to be doing a job I love which hopefully makes a difference to the lives of others, albeit in a small way.

The King has had his plans to leave the old life behind thwarted by bad luck with old cars, however, again I am going to trust the universe that she had her reasons.......and this way I dont have to worry incessantly that they are stuck in the flood waters of SE QLD on their way through to us.

I am living every day, or rather TRYING to live every day as I mean to go on.  I am, I guess finally working on just BEING ME, learning to FORGIVE me, and being KIND to me.  I think I LIKE the new non judgemental, self criticising ME, and I want to keep her.   I think she DESERVES to savour a quiet moment with an old love, dark chocolate drops, and not feel guilty either.....

I choose to smile infectiously, its free, please take one.



xxx

Ive met the Freddo Frog!!!

  We have had a pretty unproductive last few weeks, I am feeling totally lost and not absorbed into the new 'not working all the time' life...kids are enjoying their new cute school and the 70's inspired house is a scream.  I am LOVING spoiling my Mum, cooking every night and cleaning but sooooooooo bored I am reduced to exercising *collective gasps were heard from herer, thats VERY rude you know!* and being chaed by moster sized goats running open on the roads...sounds cuter than it is believe me! 

I am PC free for the first time in years and I feel so shackled to the moment it trully is very freaky.  I am in the public libarary at the moment which is a nice tribute to the hippy in me anyway....

The King is tweaking the house in Darwin to sell, apparently very s-l-o-w-l-y...and I am silently having little panic attacks about finances under my doona at night :(

I am living in a cute little (read dead quiet) hamlet and aside from the views it has amazing cute teensy little green frogs, so perfect you could err eat them?  NO, but I do stalk them late at night with my camera......

so I have a claim to fame, I have met the Freddo frog!

Thanks for popping by, will try to be more on the ball with updates!

xx

Do I dare say it out loud?

......pssss, come over here and I'll whisper it to you........

I think I may have my georgeous little boy back.....

He had run out of his prescription for Singulair over the weekend, and we had been toying with the idea of weaning him off it due to many complications, some of which include, hysterical tantrums out of the blue, night terrors, puffy face, hallucinations and did I mention hysterical random tantrums???  where we all end up losers? 

Anyway, at some point the King and I agreed that it would be better for his self esteem and the family in general to have him off these tablets and watch his asthma for a while to see if he has improved enough to need treatment only as it presents.  He has been on something or rather since he was 3 months old, and frankly I am worried what this will mean for his health long term.   The Dr. poo pooed my concerns based on research prior to him going on it, and agreed maybe we should do a trial weaning after hearing the issues, however this was just before we left to go to Vietnam and as he said, timing was pretty bad.  We refilled that prescription and have just run out now.

I was so paranoid the first night, waiting for terrible reactions, asthma flare up and barking in the wee hours, feeling sick and more hysterical tantrums.  NOPE, all I have seen ( and this is the end of the dreaded 'day 3' as advised by the pharmacist) is my beautiful boy who has been on so many steroids and chemicals I have only seen snatches of him so far in his first 5 years.  Enough to know he is charismatic and charming but also prone to impulsive and wild 'behaviours'.  He has not displayed any.....at all, in fact he has been singing, 'I'm a singaLET, I'm a singalet', complete with Beyonce booty dance and has been giggling so much, I'd never heard him laugh so much its beautiful.  I have had more than my fair share ( but who's complaining) of impulsive HUGS, not slaps...HUGS today and the only time I had to reprimand him today was because when we were shopping, he was playing with his sister TOO MUCH....


Sissy does not know how to take him, she normally has to resort to having her own tantrum to be heard and though he was nice all day, she is understandably a bit wary when he runs over to throw his arms around her for a cuddle...normally he would probably have knocked her flying for a piece of Lego or similar.


No complaints from Spidey about 'aching legs' or headaches today, no troubles getting off to sleep either since Friday night, no puffy face like he is having a reaction to some allergen, no night terrors, no hysterical tantrums, no nasty behaviours, not hyped and impulsive at all really.  He seems to have more energy and be thinking clearly, eg he asked me on Friday night for his 'doggy with the thingy on his head'....tonight he asked for his 'black doggy with the sad eyes, the one with antlers' (xmas toy)...its like he can articulate ideas better.  In the last few days he has also been using emotive words to describe how he feels instead of flaring up.  I am amazed.

I will write a small disclaimer though, while this treatment has not come without its failings, Asthma is a very serious illness and one that prior to its use, had him based on long term steroid treatment which has very real side effects of its own and was not as reliable in preventing attacks, resulting in many hospital visits and many many nights stuck in a steamy bathroom and on a ventilator....and behavioral issues as a side effect aswell. 

However.....so far, we have a happy healthy child,  and a happy  HOUSEhold...WIN WIN.

I will keep you all posted!

x

Picasso dreams and crushed heart

I have been feeling so great and upbeat, and like the universe is kind of 'helping' us lately. Like past wrongs are being 'righted' of this makes sense. Like we are finally on an upwards spiral, crawling through the forrest towards the light, but without the heaviness. But, and I have been scared it was going to happen again, I am suddenly feeling like I am going to crash, and it is all going to fall apart.


I have just woken up with a horrible nightmare, so disjointed it is like a picasso painting, about the sexualisation of my daughter, which is my biggest fear to face. I have tears streaming down my face and am trying to stay in control of my heart which is pounding, and in control of my overwhelming emotions. I am not sure which of these is the trigger though I know I have faced 2 huge battles yesterday.

My beautiful DD8 was invited for a sleepover and has finally allowed herself to become friends with a girl, which sounds silly but she has toughened herself up so much this vulnerability is such a huge hurdle for her and shows me that she is moving forward and I am SO SO SO PROUD of her, I kept remindiing myself that the family is lovely, reminded her that she can call me ANYTIME, middle of the night, whenever, FOREVER. She was so blissfully happy she didnt seem to have a worry....except for a blow out in attitude JUST prior to leaving, which is what she does when she cant express herself. I didnt read it then though.

What I wouldnt admit to myself is that it was me with the issue. I have tried to be so brave against my grain to trust in another person to look after my baby. I kept myself VERY busy last night packing and going down memory lane with old letters and photos from happy times in my yesteryears. I went to bed late with a heaviness I didnt understand, but I did sleep. I just woke very early with that familiar crush, and tears streaming from my face. I dont want to tell DH how I feel, as it feels so unfair to her. I WANT to be so happy for her but until I see her smiling face again I wont be sure she is ok. I sound so stupid! I also dont want her to see how worried I am, to give her the guilts and I want to tell her how brave she is and how proud i am without making a huge deal about it. *deep breath*


I also had an old friend over for a coffee with her kids yesterday and told her ( its the first person in a very old group of friends we have shrunk away from) about why we have been so 'unavailable' the last few years. She was great, my biggest fears was that if I shared and received my much needed support from friends that they would treat my us differently, that I was betraying Missy's confidence, and while I trust this friend, I still feel this way deep down. Like I shouldnt have said anything, but I felt I needed to explain, and this is bothering me, I wish I could take those words back. I know she understands so why do I feel this way.


Why is it so black and white, if I ask for help I am letting Missy down? Is this a real thing or a barrier I have made up to let myself continue to suffer. The reason I am being open, or so I thought, is that counselling has let me believe that it was NOT MY FAULT, and I do know this but dont always FEEL this still, But I do feel less angry and more able to accept and handle situations as they arise.



But right now....I feel sick to the stomach and shaky, and let down. Am I going to have a panic attack everytime I have to do something out of my comfort zone now? This doesnt resonate with the strong, outgoing, funloving person that I KNOW I am at my core. Reading the letters last night reminded me of what I (used to)give to other people, and who I am.



I do not have time for this, I have soooo much to do, and I have been trying to ignore how I feel about all of this as I want this move to be about a fresh start, not running away iykwim. I cant move aound here without memory trigger and on my strong days I can ignore them and I can see how grief fades with time, but it is still crippling me deep down. I feel the need to see my counsellor again, a thought which randomly popped into my head yesterday and at the time wasnt sure why (derrrr) but I cannot as I dont have time now, and will have to try to find someone down there as soon as the kids go back to school.


Just like a powerful metaphor, I have been sitting here comforted by the deep blanket of dark but the sun has just started to penetrate through the slits in the curtains and is making me feel a little more confident that I CAN do this, and believe in myself enough to get through this day. 
 
DS5 has also just woken up and came and sat on my lap and nuzzled my neck. I told him I had a bad, scary dream and he just said 'Its alright, I'm here Mum'. And also told me he heard me screaming in the night. I am going to go and snuggle on the couch for a while with my handsome prince. x

This moving caper is a long slog....

Packing, packing and more packing, its more fun with red wine and you get a surprise at the end of it...surprise if you packed anything at all, and a surprise (whats in the box) at the other end!

I'm hoping for the best ;)

definitely less stressful tonight! took ages packing the photo box *awwwww, kids look at Old Lady when she was 6 weeks old*....... and so on......its nice to remember the great times.

My humble Kitchen.......

Oh God, dont you hate that?  I just wrote a wonderful piece about our kitchen...written in response to a lady from SS's ( what a mouthful lol) dilemma on decorating on a budget....and then a lightning strike and *flash* my Pulitzer prize piece is gone!  I will attempt to salvage from my memory what I was trying to say.

When we bought this house it was cold and uninviting, and the kitchen had no space to move, with only 3 bench height cupboards, I was tired of living in a cluttered messy environment.   Dad and I went to Bunnings intending to buy the makings of a shelf, however even that was getting costly.....until we walked through the gardening section and these wire baskets caught my eye.  I love the spanish/county style kitchen look so this suited me perfectly and has offered a place to store my jars, baking ware, saucepan lids and a with a lick of paint has transformed our kitchen into a warm happy space where I love to 'create' for my family and it also gave our living area a lovely warm feel with that delicious chilli red.   All up with paint it was $60, however had I known what I wanted I am sure I could have salvaged them for a fraction of the cost.

This was intended as an interim solution until we 'renovated' however I am still waiting lol, and looks like it wont happen as we are moving now, but I have enjoyed playing in this happy kitchen.

Infact I am off to play now, with a nice glass of Merlot to get my creative juices flowing  : )

On the menu tonight.......... Yummy Moroccan Vege Curry, in line with my recent 'pledge to go veg'.

The King and I.....

Today we mark our 12 year anniversary.   A long windy road led us up this path, through fields of dandelions, over mountain passes, through dark and sometimes scary forrests and occaisionally left us up the creek with out a paddle.  But we have learned to move with the current, instead of making waves.  We both pay attention these days to the small ripples, and try to let them pass to enjoy the moment.  

I remember the day I met him, he took my breath away, and I refused to look at him so he wouldn't be able to see my yearning, having fallen prey to his charms.....and despite our tough times, I want to be boring my kids and anyone who'll listen, with our story for many years to come. 

I love him.  There, I've said it, out loud. I was bought up a feminist, but one thing my Mother and all of my hairy legged Aunties ( god love =em) forgot to mention, is that its OKAY to give in to love, to yield OCCAISIONALLY.  I have come up with this wisdom all on my own, though I must admit, it doesn't come naturally.  I am WOMAN hear me ROAR!  But also let me snuggle......

All of this and the King discovered 'wifeaway' techniques and has perfected them over the years.  For his own safety he learned never to actually SAY, 'Yes dear'.

Long Live the King xx

Housekeeping 101

Tip # 874

If it smells nice, you're halfway there....


and even better if you can get the kids to do this for you!

I just filled a spray bottle with an inch of water and a few drops of essential oil ( we're using ylang ylang and mandarin oil) and let DS5 go crazy on the mister.

Now, I can happily wait for the cleaning fairy on Monday.  Or my latin houseboy....whoever turns up first ;)

Pool Party

Not much to say today (hold on Nelly I am telling the jokes around here...) except that I am slopping around in my PJ's in a post nightduty 'hangover' just enjoying the cool afternoon rain and thunderstorms, and watching as the park in the laneway behind our house turns into a river complete with waterfalls, almost worthy of a safari doc. 

The frogs are also enjoying the post rain puddles,  different pitches of the local boys can be heard, infact not much else CAN be heard, while they arrange their pool party for later when we all go to sleep.

My son is drifting off to sleep in their chorus, after complaining about the 'noisy fwogs', he enjoyed hearing of the possibility of a frog party right outside his room.....I think he is waiting for an invite....and picturing beautiful fat lime green frogs in teensy polkadotted lycra swimsuits bobbing around the spa in tiny float rings holding teensy little cups of soft drinks....okay maybe I helped with that idea ;)

When Miss8 was little and we first moved here, she was terrified of the raucus frogs, who sound like they are moving on in, so we told her they have a tea party every night, and it was an unrealised plan of mine to find a teeny dolls teaset and leave them strewn around the palm trees for her to find in the morning....... on second thoughts, maybe there's still time.

Enjoy your weekend!

x

It's the little things that count.

After a week of cyclonic stormy rainy weather, and being jammed pack into our small house( ...ever decreasing in size or so it seems)we are all at our wits end.  And before I tell you the story of what we did to amuse ourselves today I will admit it all started with my BRILLIANT idea to turn the TV off, as I was sick of watching the kids eyes stuck to the screen of trashy ABC kids spy shows. 

I forgot a back up plan though...and  yes it degenerated into a tatrums and tears, at least some of which were mine.  I got most upset when the kids wouldn't cooperate in a game of Simple Simon outside under the verandah, a game of thinly veiled exercise to wear them out.  THERE, I've said it, I GOT UPSET.  I ranted and raved.  I got frustrated at the weather.  I did the dishes in my crankiness, secretly enjoying the way I could SPLONK another plate or cup itno the water with each mini mood swing.  BUT there was no end in sight, no rainbow at the end of the storm to look forward to.  Forecast at El Rancho Ryan, more rain and squally storms at least until after the weekend.  CRAP.  No chance to hang up the referee's whistle just yet.

Then it hit me like, *ahem* pardon the pun, a lightning bolt over my second lukewarm coffee.  We live in the tropics.  It is hardly cold.  We run with gay, (post embarresing) abandon in the first big storm, despite living next to apparently extremely mature neighbours.  So, why not work with it?

We saddled up the Old Lady, and grabbed a bottle of water, donned our workboots ( thongs) and took off for the local park while it had subsided to spitting.  We played games walking around the lake, counting the ducks, sticking out tongues out to catch the rain, challenging each other to try walking backwards, sideways, hopping, and then the clouds really rolled over and the sky split open in earnest.  Oh well, it was beautiful, refreshing and hilarious watching the kids roll (or rather slide) down the grassy hills. 

We all laughed out loud trying the different play equipment.....with surprisingly few injuries....

.......then we stopped at the bakery on the way home to cheat and get treats for lunch.

Parked the car, opened the door, kids piled out.  And as if they had just reentered the vortex of bitchiness, they started at it again.     *SIGH*  

So, I will hold on to my fleeting memory of the raindrops on my tongue and sticky wet hands in mine....and ignore the rest.

x

What to do .....what to do......what to do.....

...what to do.  That is the question.  Less than a month before DH is to drive out and we haven't decided whether to sell up or rent out our first house.  I have lists of 'pro's and con's' strewn around the house.  One minute I want to sell, then the next I want to hold onto this place.  But not for the reasons everybody is 'advising'....I KNOW financially it is a good long term investment....I KNOW it will continue to increase in value.  I KNOW the King and I could keep this as our retirement nest egg.....bla bla bla.  BUT  the reasons I am considering it are more for sentimental reasons.  This has been our family 'nest' for nigh on 5 years.  Our refuge, the place where we grew together.  The place of many milestones.  It is the place where my monkey learned to ride a bike.  It is the place where my daughter looked at me with 'melt your heart love' when she got her pet kitten.  It is the first step in our journey of home ownership of security for the King and I that we were so desperately craving.  It has many late night scribbles of plans and dreams etched into my memory.  It is the place of many family gatherings, of laughter and love.


It is also a place of stark reminders of a not so happy past.  Of a daughter so crushed it crushed the wind out of me to look at her.  Of having to work ourselves to the bone to try and meet the rising cost of living up here, of loneliness due to perhaps too high expectations of support from the friends we came here to be with. .....and on reflection  many couldn't handle what we needed of them, sad but understandable.  Of tension between the King and I while we worked through our own private hell with our little Missy.   Of many tears and struggles just to keep our heads above water.  Of many many nights thinking DS5 would be drawing his last breath as his asthma flared up and and threatened to peel him from his mothers' arms.

But we are stronger now, all of us, and this nest has ingrained itself into our lives with its unwavering offering of a place to hide, a shelter from the world when we needed it.  But we are ready to shake off these bad memories and start a new chapter in our lives.  AND shape it to suit us.  To find the perfect spot for "El Rancho Ryan" the place of our dreams, and fill it with vivid techicolour memories of family, love and strength, the best of us.   A casa of hope, of simple living and laughter. 

I guess I just answered my question......I realise now it's time to let go, and move with the current.  For us, it was never a question about money. 

Thanks for listening

xx

We're having YOU CANT KILL IT VEGE SOUP for dinner. Hmmmmmm

......so as with most households with younguns plans change, and usually very quickly.  SO you get used to thinking on your feet. 

Well, it has been raining cats and dogs or more appropriately for  the Territory, FROGS, so our quick jaunt to the stupidmarket was postponed until well, until it was too late.  *SIGH* so much for my surprise for the King, but it wasn't about the bread anyway.....was it?  lol

Not wanting to spend too much and noticing my kids haven't been so keen to munch through a Monkey's share of fruit lately, and with inspiration from Huey this afternoon, we decided to make a vege soup for dinner.

After a 4.35am rise from bed and sneaked watching of cartoons until the rest of the house woke, Miss 8 has fallen asleep in her room after what felt like the 85th timeout for the day, again for hacking on her (admittedly somewhat annoying little turd at times) brother yet again.  SOooo faced with what to do with the boy after his Troy Bolton efforts at basketball got rained out yet again for the day I decided to enlist in his help for making the soup.  I chopped the veges; onions, garlic, carrots, spinach; and he stirred them in the pot until they were ready to add water.  He loved 'handpicking' the frozen peas and corn to add and poured in the lentils, red and brown.  Then he enjoyed, Ratatouille style, sprinkling different herbs and spices.  I gave him free reign ( except for the vanilla lol) as I figured you cant kill a good vege soup.  Turns out it is pretty nice, who knew tomato sauce and tumeric went well with italian herbs and cracked gourmet pepper?  Along with a Massel vege stock cube it is really yummy.  He now wants to add his 'piece de resistance' some spaghetti strands.  But ONLY 3, it is ( lol) apparently, all about presentation ;)

He did a great job and is now soaking his chef weary body in a lavendar infused bath (method to my madness mwa ha ha ha)  .......maybe there is hope for the King and I after all!

serving his 'Yummy you cant kill it' vege soup with baked Turkish bread and olive oil.....mmmmmm!

Rain Rain go away........7 days and counting and more to come!

All this rain spells B-O-R-E-D-O-M  for the squidlets on school holidays, and there is only so much braving the elements with expensive outings one can do.....

Sooooo after having to blow the whistle and hand out yellow cards all morning for those of us prone to wrestle when out of their minds, I had to come up with a plan. 

What better way to keep us all entertained (and finally motivate me to finally CLEAN the oven from the Kings late night pork crackle fetish over christmas..eewww) than a morning of baking......

Miss 8 made a banana cake in a square tin, I am emphasising this part as APPARENTLY it is very important, important enough to start a full scale blow out even....

Master 5 made his all time favourite, yes its in the genes people, a dark Chocolate cake, in a round tin!

They managed to actually listen to step by step instructions, with the ingredients set out for them to use as needed (something I learned from my cooking class in Saigon with Miss 8) and only 'tasted' a couple of times, they were both so keen to do a great job as a surprise for Daddy. 

Cakes are now cooling off on bench, and kids patience for icing them is waning, we'll see.  I will post pics of their masterpieces for you to drool collectively over later, come on by for a slice and a cuppa x

Keeping the magic alive.....

Sometimes, albeit not regularly enough, here at El Rancho Ryan, the King and I get to have a quiet night to ourselves and though it takes a bit of planning ahead to get the kids to bed so we arent interrupted by 100 ...'can I have a glass of water' type requests (.....to which I will answer, 'NO, swallow hard and look forward to your hot chocolate in morning'....being MOTHER OF THE YEAR and all is no mean feat) it is well worth the while.  We actually get to TALK.  I remember that among other things, we used to be best pals.  AND why.   I light the candles to signify the 'date', and the King usually pours a nice glass of wine for us to enjoy.  TV is turned off, and we picnic on a rug on the floor............

This is not as actually romantic as it sounds...stems from the days when we were first cohabiting, and all we HAD was a rug on the floor.  And while we are no moguls even now, we feel rich with such oppulence as a house full of furniture.  Admittedly it is getting harder and harder to get off the rug when we are ready to retire though.....

Tonight is an important night, for with all the stress of moving, I dont think we have actually LOOKED at each other, or talked about NOTHING for a few weeks now.  It is taking its toll.  We are getting snarky ( is this even a word?) when this is meant to be the opportunity for us all to change our lives to make time for the things that WE decided matter to us most. 

As a peace offering, I am making one of the King's favourite all time lip schmacking foods, the cob loaf dip.  He will love me for it and IT will be responsible for restoring our faith in each other and our way forward.  Not that I am putting a whole lot of emphasis on the food you understand, too much pressure for a loaf of bread you say?  You havent seen him devour this at parties, eyes rolling back in his head with pure (doesnt matter if I'm too tired) ecstasy. 

Thanks to fellow blogger Jade at Creative Family Living for this very timely shared recipe, you saved my bacon!


I am interested in how YOU keep the 'magic' alive......when you have other commitments which threaten its existence on a daily basis, please share ;)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Margarita, I could SO go one of you right now!

BUT Merlot will make a nice substitute......

plus it feels sophisticated sipping on a glass of vino while I 'create' in the kitchen ( which is code for GOD I HOPE THIS TURNS OUT...and often have to make up a savvy new name for what was MEANT to be recognisable!)

I just have to say that School Holidays and LOTS OF DAMN RAIN have taken their toll today *sigh*

but....I'm feeling better already, just thinking about this lovely little glass ;)

When in Rome.....

Well, as we are nearing the end of our Northern  Territory sojourn, the King took the kids to Crocadylus park while I slept post night duty on Sunday....using our annual passes, which run out in 2 weeks and we hadnt used them since we bought them...GREAT value that!  Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

The King bought a pack of Croc burgers to make a bbq dinner for tonight.  However this feeble and desperate attempt to reinstate some 'cool' factor, really didnt go according to plan.  Mini Steve Irwin was horrified and ended up eating only an egg and the Bookworm was adamant she wasn't going to eat them either, that is until she realised her hissy fit this afternoon and 8 year old expletives screeched through her door to us had ruined her chances of a special dinner she was vying for.  She was eating it with a funny screwed up expression, a mix of disgust and guilt, when she revealed they werent that bad.  She asked how much of a croc she'd eaten and I responded, 'about a toe' as she was dawdling and my patience was dwindling!  I obviously hadnt thought my answer through.....so that was the end of that meal, but no arguments to be had by any, off to bed without a peep!

On the upside, princess kitty and old lady pooch LOVED them ;)

I can hear my mum sniggering from here....

She arrived in NSW this morning, and we  have been issued a cyclone warning.  She who is a cyclophobe(word?) has incredible timing , I'll give her that! 
I'd hate to have to deal with a full blown cyclone, but truthfully cant get past my own preparation, will have to dust off some baked beans and hope the dust on the candles havent made them a fire hazard....imagine the clean up afterwards.....
It's bad enough to figure spending more than 3 minutes trapped in a bathroom with 2 sqaubbling kids, an old incontinent dog who forgets she is NOT a cat, trying to get onto your lap, a kitten with claustrophobia and a DH who will lets just say, NEED to be holding the matches.




'Brrrp" ...

dd8..."who was that'

dh.."the dog'

DS5...'move over'

DD8.." I cant...you move.....silence....THUMP'

DD5 SQUUUUUAAAAAAWWWWKK

DH. Brrrp brrp, stop that kids, or I'll put you outside....(currently undertaking negotiations with THE NANNY re punishments must fit the crime...)

DOG....leak leak

cat.....psssss......

me....rummage rummage, oh god did we pack the VALIUM???? slightly panicked rise to voice.
.
.
.

me....quietly and slowly...crack....twist twist.....slurp slurp

dh....what is that?

me...what? I dont hear anything HIC ....*snore*





so heres to it passing, or I will need therapy ;)...purely selfish I know, but I dont care if it hits and carries away my car or trashes my lounge, nothing takes away the 'mystery' from a marriage like being trapped together in a 2 foot by 3 foot room. WITH kids and dogs ;(

Ooh aaah eeek, cant walk, gardening injury...

I FINALLY tackled the weeding....I took on the entrance garden and lost.  I am covered in scratches and can hardly walk.....but it looks good, wish I'd done it sooner.  AND no sooner had I finished it that the monsoonal rains bucketed down, not sure if this was a blessing or curse as I had secretly been hoping my efforts would be 'rained out'.  I am working tonight at the old folks home, can just see me having to ask old Mrs 'Jones' to help ME up off the floor!

Memo to self, kneel dont squat, you arent 20-something anymore.....

And a little tip to anyone who cares to listen......if there are weeds around pineapple plants, they deserve to be a part of the landscape, and if you think otherwise, you will regret your decision......

Symphony of Frogs....

I love the rain, the mellow sounds, the fresh smell of rain coming, the distant rumble of thunder (not too close though or it will wake the kids up, upset old lady and frazzle kitty, and loud enough might even mean more washing....)

One of my night duty 'side effects' is that I find many a sleepless night when the rest of the house is blissfully asleep, but rather than see it as a curse, I have come to really appreciate the wee hours, as I have always been a 'night owl'.  It is only in the last few years of desperately trying to retrain myself  to match the 'school mums' that I have come undone, so it is settled, I remain a night owl.  Tonight I am sharing the inky blackness with silver droplets of rain, and a party of raucous frogs singing away.  I, blaming my crappy technology, will sadly admit to defeat in trying to capture the diamante drops as they fall from my verandah, my haven in the dark.  I did however spend several minutes absorbed in the blisfully childlike pursuit of my green pals.  I found them sitting on our table having a picnic, the bar, and even caught one next to the stereo.....wonder what tune he would have played.....

OMG...its happening at warp speed!

We had a lovely New Years Day brunch at the park with my beautiful cuzzy and her family of 'wrangers', it was a 'happysad' morning, full of laughter and great conversation, happy kids and of course the requisite clouds of midgies.......but nothing a bucket load of DEET didn't fix. 

Post night duty, I felt very reflective and enjoyed watching the dynamics of our family group, and this filled my heart with joy, a corny saying I realise, however I cant think of a better way to express how I am feeling lately.   I have finally crawled out of the hole I had started to sink in over the last few years....to find sunlight and love, and not emptiness and pain as I had been so very afraid of.  

Saying Good-Bye in the carpark was fleeting, as I will see them all again before I go, but was shackled with an underlying heaviness of finality.    It is my Mum's last morning in Darwin, she flies out to Coffs Harbour tonight, and though we are all close, it has been many years since our families have all lived so close together.

It is ironic that the very move which is offering my family a new fortune, is also responsible for breaking what I hold most dear to me here.  I have loved living so close to my cuzzy and her family, yet we have only relatively recently been able to catch up as often as I would have liked.

I am constantly being reminded of how lucky, or if not luck, how 'blessed' I am to have such wonderful family and friends in my life and despite being just a TAD over gen Y age, also grateful for this age of technology, where it is so easy to stay in touch.

We fly out in exactly 21 days....so enough of the sentimental jibber from me, it is time for some serious whip crackin'.   No time for second guessing or playing 'what if's'!   

Will add some photos of our lovely morning soon  x

Year of the Metal Tiger

Happy New Year!!  I wish you and yours a safe and happy New Year full of promise! 

I, like so many I have spoken to lately, am glad to be seeing the back of 2009, which proved, for my family at least, to be a year of angst and profound loss.......but on reflection, also a year of suprising hope which brought with it teachings of gratitude.

I have many hopes for the Year of the Metal Tiger, and yet few 'resolutions'.....for some reason this day, and this year is significant to me as a new start, an opportunity to shed the pain of  lost hopes and futile regrets which have been clouding my family.  It is a year for bravery, for changes, for facing adversity together and for once, winning.   For me, it is to be a year for a new mindset, for letting go of the past and focusing on family and relationships.  A year for rellishing in the simple things, for forgiveness, for gratitude, for expressing and allowing myself to feel the love I am so blessed to be surrounded with.   I can almost feel the changes in the wind and am ready to rise to the challenge.  For 2010, the Year of the White Metal Tiger, is the year I will remember to breathe again.